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Lady Kirsten

Lady Kirsten

Kirsten and Grant baby buffin' it style.

Warm-up: 20 1-arm KB OHS (35/20lbs), 20 Sit-Ups, 10 Push-Ups, 15 Serratus Push-Ups, Shoulder Mobility

Jerk: 1-1-1-1-1 From the Back Rack: 1-1-1-1-1 From the Front Rack

MetCon – Thruster/Burpee Ladder:
1-12-1 For Time
Do 1 Thruster and then 1 Burpee, Do 2 Thrusters then 2 Burpees up to 12 and back down to 1.
(No Overhead Clap on the Burpee, Do Not Repeat 12, 15 Minute Time Cap)

Some of you may know, others may not, that we had one of our own compete a few weeks ago in a Chattanooga Get Built CrossFit Competition… and that person was KIRSTEN GUILLIAMS! We always make a post on competitions, but a few things stood in the way of this post happening. First, we left the gym camera at the gym (our bad) and Kirsten was the only one with the camera. Unfortunately, she brought her camera several times to Ktown but forgot to give it to us! Finally we got the pics, but then so many other announcements came up that interfered: Paleo, Baby Slo, Halloween Parties, 5K Races, etc. Without further ado, here is the post!

Once upon a time it was a hot October Saturday in Chattanooga. The park was filled with excited fans waving flags of their heroes and courageous competitors ready for some action. The mighty Lady Kirsten, or “The Intimidator,” was among the brave.

The Lady Kirsten.

The challenge: 3 Rounds for Time – 5 Deadlifts (155lbs), Sprint up the massive hill

Many maidens valiantly tried but none could best The Intimidator in this workout. Those long legs and stride to match were perfect for this event. Kirsten finished first overall in this workout with a time barely over 2 minutes! A time to be feared by kings all across the land.

Good lift!

Lord Brandon Pudgy could not be prouder of his fair lady. He toasted her glorious win with a hearty goblet of milk and a extravagant slice of chocolate cake which he dribbled onto his royal shirt.

Lord Brandon Pudgy toasts!

After Lady Kirsten recovered on her trusty foam roller she was ready for her next test (or not ready since there was only 45 minutes between the first and second event).

The trusty roller.

The toil: 3 Rounds for Time – 300m Run, 15 Thrusters (45lbs)

Good extension.

Lady Kirsten, always poised to strike, kept a strong pace throughout the workout right behind the first place lady, known as “Carzilla.” Then during the last round an evil so strong pierced Kirsten straight through the heart, or actually straight through the legs (leg cramps).

Evil leg cramps!

It hurt me to watch.

Even with the evil trying to overtake her spirit she managed to place thrice. Again all the peoples in the Chattanooga land were amazed at her ferocity.

Bring it on in!

Some time later (about 1 hour) the court jester gathered everyone around for a declaration of the 3rd quest…a Strongman Steeplechase. A workout that was so fearsome those with weak hearts, minds, or stomachs did not dare.

Poor Kirsten hit herself like 4 times with the ball!

Strongman Steeplechase: Move self downhill on hands (feet on cardboard), OWLs Uphill (25lb plate), Run Up and Down Mountainous Hill, Run ~1Mile, Stair Climbs, 50 Wall Balls (10lbs), Run ~1Mile, Run Back Up and Down Mountainous Hill, 50 Box Jumps

Good form Lady K.

Those are the stairs...

And that is the hill!

Maiden Kirsten could not rid herself of the cramps plaguing her legs but knew she must continue nevertheless. So with a smile she forced herself to begin the quest. The journey was miserable, long, and tiring but Kirsten managed to come back in one piece winning the hearts of the people. She also finished in fourth place securing her spot in the final battle.

For what seemed only minutes later the court jester announced,
“Hear ye, hear ye, gather round
The final champions have been found.
But who will win the golden prize?
Only the champion that does survive.”

The court jester and his champions.

Mission: Burpees Up Stadium Stairs, Farmer’s Carry Up Stadium Stairs (100lbs), 17 Ground-to-Overhead, Backwards Uphill Run

The stadium burpee stairs.

Fighting back tears, muscle cramps, fatigue, and a couple of dragons Kirsten refused to quit, even after hearing the final mission. She was after that golden goose (or two pairs of socks and $250 bucks).

The fans sat in deafening silence and sweat trickled down Lady Kirsten’s neck as the jester counted down, “3…2…1…GO!” Kirsten made it up the steps in no time flat and was back down the stadium stairs for her weights. She boldly slugged the 100lbs up the stairs with Carzilla and other competitors nipping on her heels. Kirsten quickly began the Clean and Jerks but Carzilla began to overtake her with her shorter range of motion. Kirsten realized this and began to go faster. But alas! Carzilla was already halfway up the hill before maiden Kirsten could begin the backwards uphill sprint. Carzilla, though, had slowed down to a mere walking pace as fatigue struck her senseless. This was Lady Kirsten’s chance! She kicked it into full gear and began running backwards! Seconds felt like hours as Kirsten began to catch up while the crowd madly cheered and screamed! And that’s how this tale ends, Lady Kirsten touched the fence literally one second behind, but her worthy efforts won her the crowd favorite title and $100 golden pieces (or $100).

Way to go Lady K. Second place!!!

And they lived happily ever after (Lord Brandon Pudgy and Lady Kirsten that is),
<3 Coach Miss Fairy Tale

By | 2017-04-25T14:39:26+00:00 November 2nd, 2010|CrossFit Ktown Knoxville, Uncategorized|13 Comments


  1. crossfitktown November 2, 2010 at 9:04 pm

    Lemme be the first to say that last workout was so amazing to watch. I was going cray cray!!! There are no pictures or video from it because our camera battery died right before. Also, the photographer hired had to leave early so there were none from that end either…

    Way to go KK! So proud!
    -Miss J

  2. T-Pain November 2, 2010 at 9:53 pm

    Congrats Kirsten!

    Also, Lord Brandon Pudgy = Senor Big Belly Chicken Legs

  3. Kirsten November 2, 2010 at 10:14 pm

    You guys are the best! Totally appreciated the cheering and support from Grant, Brandon, and Jessie. A humongous thank you to Jessie who pretty much ran the entire steeple chase with me, keeping me going during my exhaustion, charlie-horses and face trauma brought about by my inability to wrestle down the 50 wall ball shots. Thanks again guys!

    p.s. the post= phenomenal I was cracking up the entire time I read it!

  4. Lee November 3, 2010 at 12:03 am

    Thanks for the bedtime story :)

    Congratulations Kirsten! You are SO amazing!

  5. Erin November 3, 2010 at 7:49 am

    Way to go, Kirsten! I heard soon after this was a stellar performance and I’m so happy we all get the play-by-play now. You are such a rockstar!

  6. Rise Up November 3, 2010 at 8:21 am

    Way to RISE UP Kirsten! You are such a great competitor. Looking forward to battling with you in the next Crossfit competition. Holla!

  7. LarryS November 3, 2010 at 9:04 am

    Miss K . . . You go girl! Congrats . . .

  8. Brandon November 3, 2010 at 9:07 am

    I like Senor Big Belly Chicken Legs. Also: best competition recap post ever?

  9. Rachel H November 3, 2010 at 9:33 am

    Congrats Kirsten. You are awesome. Way to totally lead the pack for us crossfit ladies. I can’t wait until I can compete with you!!

  10. Ben November 3, 2010 at 10:07 am

    EPIC BATTLE ma Lady! So glad to finally hear the story. You make us all proud.

  11. Ben November 3, 2010 at 10:08 am

    ps….Miss J awesome post!

  12. Dave P November 3, 2010 at 10:20 am

    The Viking Queen inspires us all. The single muscle CF most effectively develops is the mind, forging an ‘elite’ will to compete, to finish strong or go down fighting. Kristin represented us all very well.

  13. Callie November 3, 2010 at 8:21 pm

    Kirsten, that’s so fantastic!! wtg girl!!

Comments are closed.